Why Tinder Is The Worst Social-Media Platform In The World!
After spending decades studying both psychology and technology (and their intersection around well-being), IMO Tinder is the WORST SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORM on the planet (psychologically and socially). It quite literally and 100% by design, captures and exploits the lowest, most primitive and ego-driven sexual and superficial drives of human psychology and then through (also intentional and by design) basic psychological “tricks” feeds those primitive and egoic drives to keep you coming back for more. In other words, platforms like Tinder emphasize and exploit the SUPERFICIAL PHYSICAL ASPECTS about human nature and take us further away from the deep, authentic and self-transcendent (beyond ego) states and values which not only foster individual happiness, well-being and sustainable relationships, but community welfare and cohesion. By over-emphasizing external, superficial, inauthentic, physical sexual attributes and needs which are ego-driven, the platform de-emphasizes the more meaningful, deep, authentic, psychological and self-transcendent (egoless) values which make us human and provide long-lasting happiness, well-being and conscious, sustainable relationships.
“With these dating apps, he says, “you’re always sort of prowling. You could talk to two or three girls at a bar and pick the best one, or you can swipe a couple hundred people a day — the sample size is so much larger. It’s setting up two or three Tinder dates a week and, chances are, sleeping with all of them, so you could rack up 100 girls you’ve slept with in a year.” (10)
I intend to write something more in depth and with more supporting research, but for now here are a few articles to help better understand how Tinder works and what it means if you are “seeking love”. Short answer, don’t bother. Those who value deep, (soulfully) intimate, authentic (non-material), self-transcending and conscious relationships will not use a platform intended and designed for superficial, physical, material and sexual/ego needs — PERIOD. If you use Tinder (and similar apps), you will get (no surprise) exactly what the platform was designed for and who it appeals to most — those who seek superficial, physical/sexual short-term conquests and who’s personal values and ego rest solidly in the external/physical realms rather than the non-material, internal, authentic and soulful or self-transcendent (beyond ego) realms of the sacred. In other words you are very unlikely to find anyone genuinely spiritually or psychologically “awakened” on the platform since it’s designed around the EXACT OPPOSITE TRAITS (those which diminish) for person’s who have had an “awakening experience” (8) or have authentic, heart/soul-based and non-material (beyond ego) value systems.
Along with being a haven for ghosting due to the lack of social-penalties (6) and implementing the same well-known dopamine-boosting addictive strategies used by casinos (7), Tinder even openly supports/provides tips on how to use various psychological “tricks” to manipulate potential “hookups”. In other words, rather than honestly acknowledging the dangers of social-media and bringing healthy, morally responsible suggestions to its members on how to avoid being controlled by the platform or manipulated/deceived by others, they OPENLY EMBRACE using “Sneaky Psychological Tricks” to manipulate/deceive others and to be more successful on your sleazy, inauthentic, superficial and sexually/physically-motivated quest to “hook-up”.
“Knowing something good is about to happen makes us feel more pleasure than the good thing itself. Tinder hijacks the brain’s system of reward learning to keep individuals hooked.” (1)
In summary, if all you are looking for is meaningless sex, an ego boost and anonymous serial “hookups” with strangers, then Tinder is the platform for you. If you are looking to lower yourself and become the next “Tinderalla” conquest of some guy/gal racking up his/her sexual conquests (10), then Tinder is the platform for you. Just don’t expect to find Mr or Misses “Right”, or someone with truly deep, authentic, spiritual and self-transcendent (beyond ego) values. According to Tinder expert Elisabeth Timmermans, PhD, “looking for love was actually the fourth most common reason people were on the app, following amusement, curiosity, and socialization” (5,9).
Note: These are my PERSONAL views of Tinder and do not represent the views of Medium or anyone else.
“Women do exactly the same things guys do,” said Matt, 26, who works in a New York art gallery. “I’ve had girls sleep with me off OkCupid and then just ghost me” — that is, disappear, in a digital sense, not returning texts. “They play the game the exact same way. They have a bunch of people going at the same time — they’re fielding their options. They’re always looking for somebody better, who has a better job or more money.” A few young women admitted to me that they use dating apps as a way to get free meals. “I call it Tinder food stamps,” one said.” (10)
References and Links
(1) The Science Behind What Tinder Is Doing to Your Brain
(2) 4 Sneaky Psychological Tricks for Tinder Domination
https://www.tinderseduction.com/4-sneaky-psychological-tricks-for-tinder-domination/
(3) How Tinder Accidentally Exposed Society’s Inherent Racism
https://www.inverse.com/article/36379-tinder-black-women-asian-men-racism
(4) What Statistics Tells About Tinder
(5) This is Tinder On Your Brain
https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2018/09/210347/tinder-psychology-dating-apps-brain
(6) Freedman, G., Powell, D. N., Le, B., & Williams, K. D. (2019). Ghosting and destiny: Implicit theories of relationships predict beliefs about ghosting. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 36(3), 905–924.
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0265407517748791
(7) Schultz, W., Dayan, P. & Montague, P.R. (1997). A neural substrate of prediction and reward. Science, 275(5306):1593–9.
https://science.sciencemag.org/content/275/5306/1593
(8) Taylor, S. (2012). SPONTANEOUS AWAKENING EXPERIENCES: BEYOND RELIGION AND SPIRITUAL PRACTICE. Journal of Transpersonal Psychology. 44(1). 73–91.
https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2012-34730-006
(9) Hall, E.D. (2018). Why People Use Tinder. Psychology Today.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/conscious-communication/201802/why-people-use-tinder
(10) Sales, N.J. (2015). Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”. Vanity Fair.
https://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2015/08/tinder-hook-up-culture-end-of-dating
